Doing things we don't want to do is a part of life. I regularly don't want to shower but because of social/cultural standards and because I don't want to smell, I have to. I don't want to go to work but because I enjoy having a place to live and food to eat, I have to.
Last night I finally buckled down and attached the sleeves to the body of my Aidez sweater.
It wasn't easy. While I have knit a lot and a lot of things, there are some things, like sweaters, that still are tricky for me some times. But I gritted my teeth and did it. I attached the sleeves, on the wrong side and in pattern. I felt like I was going to black out and I definitely started to smell colors from the stress but I did it. And I feel great about it.
That's the thing, even when we don't want to do something, a lot of times we feel good about doing it. Ripping off that band-aid, pulling that trigger, being determined to finish something makes me feel better about myself. I am so terrible at finishing things. I enjoy starting them but I hate finishing them and I don't know why because I love that feeling of having my homework done or having a clean bedroom or a brand new sweater. Perhaps it's the finality of it. I'm not quite sure I understand it either because there are always dishes that need to be cleaned or tubs to be scrubbed but some things do end. The last day of my undergrad, I loitered around campus because I didn't want that chapter to end yet. I wasn't ready to finish what I had started. In a few months, I'll be moving to one of many different locations yet to be determined and while the opportunity is exciting, I'm not ready for this chapter of my life to end yet. I'm uncertain of what the next month will decide and anxious about it. But sometimes things just need to end so that we can start something else new and exciting.
Maybe I'll knit a sock next.