Monday, September 30, 2013

Eventful (Day 88 KEDfaY)

I knew this weekend would be eventful. My friend had told me he got tickets to the Colts vs Jaguars game and was going to visit that weekend back in probably July. So I knew I would be busy. There would be hanging out and going to the beach and of course the game. I also got to meet two different people who have both said that they'll take a look at my resume and pass it along. That was unexpected and fantastic. 

Friday night, my friend Dirk and I went out to eat with one of these people. He was a great guy who knew a lot about what he was talking about which I've found to be rare in people who have any position of power. We ate at a fantastic local place, Bistro Aix which I HIGHLY recommend if you're visiting Jacksonville. Their parmesan truffle fries are fantastic even if they did make me want to throw up later. Not because of anything wrong with the fries but because I am a dumbass and ate them even after being told they weren't gluten free. There is a running theme of my being a dumbass this weekend but I'll get to that in a bit.

Dirk and I decided to grab some drinks after having dinner so we stopped at another place just down the road from where we had dinner. We're standing in line waiting to order our drinks when I get the urge to throw up. I know this feeling. I've gotten it numerous times, most of the time because I'm a dumbass. It's the feeling of everything in my stomach wanting to vacate my body as fast as possible and not caring how it gets out. I ducked out of the bar and went to the little indie film theater next door and ran in their bathroom. I didn't puke and everything turned out fine even if I did will myself to not vomit for about 15 minutes. I was even able to enjoy my cider along with great conversation afterward.

I came home and showered and was getting ready for bed. I was watching an episode of The Kids in the Hall, my current favorite for getting ready to fall asleep time. 

Then my mom called me. It's ten till 1 AM at this point. I knew what it would be about. 

"I held her as she passed that way she knew that we all loved her and cared about her." My mom said to me as she and I both tried to hold back the tears. She then handed the phone to my brother. "We treated her like the princess she is," he said through tears. Bagel the Beagle would never walk in the grass if she could walk on the side walk. She would never go outside when it was raining or snowing or threatening to do either. I took her and our other beagle who has also passed, Trini, to the park one time to play in the creek. Trini seemed to enjoy herself but Bagel wouldn't go near it and when we picked her up and put her in the creek, she did all she could to try to keep her paws out of the water. 

My brother and I spent an inordinate amount of time crying on the phone together. I started laughing because the idea of us just crying on the phone seemed absurd to me. We said our goodbyes and the rare, "I love you," as we hung up the phone. I ran to the other room and sobbed into the Boyfriend's arms and he just held me. He didn't even mind that his character was being killed in what ever game he was playing at the time. I eventually decided I was tired and went to sleep but not after posting my favorite picture of Bagel on all social media. I texted my brother and Dirk saying that I wanted to bury her and dig the hole myself and how it made me think of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2 and how the scene where Harry shouts that he wants to dig Dobby's grave didn't translate well to film. 

Posting this picture again because it's my blog and I can do what I want.

A lot of my friends knew her and loved her. Everyone who met her fell in love with the little blonde beagle. We were often asked if various friends and visitors could keep her. We always joked that she would be the worst guard dog because she will walk up to any stranger and wait for the attention that she thinks she deserves. She was sweet and well tempered. She would put up with pretty much everything, except feet. The only time she ever really barked was when she was asleep on the couch and someone dared to put their feet near her. It hurt my heart when we decided to leave her home, in Indiana. She never dealt with the heat well and since it's still over 80* here daily and will be October tomorrow, I knew she wouldn't cope with the heat here. What hurt the most was not being able to be with her in the end. As I sobbed into the Boyfriend's chest, making his tshirt damp, I choked out, "I wish I could've been there." 

The next two days were a weird juxtaposition. Everything I did that made me even remotely happy, I would remind myself that my dog, my baby, my princess, just died and I wasn't there to be with her. I'm glad I'm back on my anti-anxiety medication otherwise my ups and downs would've been more drastic and there would've been a lot more tears and would've confused everyone I was around and that's not something I need when I'm trying to make people like me so that they'll look at my resume. 

But back to me being a dumbass. We've recently moved to Florida if you haven't been following along. I also burn very easily. I have been relatively careful every time I know I'm going to be outside for more than five minutes at a time. I usually bring sunscreen even though I might not need it. But not this weekend. Sunday we went to the Colts vs Jaguars game. It was a blowout like everyone was predicting but a lot of fun. For those who might not know, EverBank Field is an open stadium. 

That's me after coming home and showering. The yellow lighting doesn't show just how drastic of a difference there is between my pale, pasty skin and my bright cherry red face and chest. My chest and neck are still bright red although the other parts that got too much sun have slightly faded. I am in more pain than should be caused by just sitting outside for too long without sunscreen, that's for sure. 

It's hard to say that I had a good weekend. Yes, I had fun and yes, I did meet people who could help me get a job in a field that I am interested in working in but at the end of it, I just keep thinking that I lost my puppy. 

On Monday afternoon, the most I can say was that it was eventful. 

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